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Jer and I have taken to spending our anniversary at casinos. Strange and tacky, I know, but since we spent six days in Vegas for our honeymoon, it is fits.

This year we got an excellent deal on a hotel room at a nearby casino that included a “blackjack university class”, $10 in “blackjack action chips”, and $20 in food comps.

We checked in just after 3 on Friday. Our room was beautiful. It was a “luxury tower suite” in the newly built section of the resort. I’m really loving the trend of mounting flat screened TVs on the wall in hotel rooms. It really makes the room feel bigger to not have a gigantic counsel TV.

We had a light dinner and found wandered around playing slot machines. We played “Cosmic Bingo” from 11 to 1 and then headed upstairs to sleep. We are definitely starting to feel like we’re getting older. 1 a.m. is WAY too late for me.

We used our food comps the next morning to have breakfast at one of the casino restaurants. We still had a few hours left before the scheduled Blackjack University class and when we needed to check out, so we decided to play a few more machines.

I’m generally scared, strike that, terrified of the blackjack tables. But we couldn’t pass up what was essentially a free ten bucks. We sat through Dorothy’s Blackjack 101 Class, which was completely worth the half an hour! She clued me in on all of the rules of the table and the basics of when to hit and stay. We didn’t really get into much more than that as she wanted to stick to the simple stuff for me the first time out. But that little bit of information was plenty! The chips that we got with our package could not be cashed in for money, but could be used at the tables. And I won! We ended up walking away from the table with $32.50 in real chips! In less than thirty minutes, I turned my two worthless chips into six $5 chips and a $2.50 chip. Adding that to the thirty dollars we were ahead on the slot machines, we came away from the morning with $62.50 (not including the free food!)

FUN! Free money is FUN!

There is no way that I can make this post come across as beautifully as I want it to, but I will attempt to.

We were in the car for an awful long time today. We drove down to Albert Lea to celebrate the holiday a day early with the in-law side of the family. By the time we got home, I was just about emotionally spent. I didn’t think I could handle another moment with people. I wanted the boy to go to bed and my husband to go away so that I could breathe and just relax and be with my own thoughts. I was irritated and irritable. I’m sure I was a joy to be with for my loving husband on our ride home.

So when Ash finally hauled his little tush upstairs, I opened a bottle of my favorite Three Buck Chuck Shiraz, poured a nice deep glass of it, filled the tub with some oil and bubbles, and extremely hot water and sunk in with a book that I checked out from the library two weeks ago intending to read and just haven’t had the chance to yet.

Just as I was getting into the first chapter, I could hear Ash singing along to his radio. It was that obnoxious Gwen Stefani song….

For some reason, listening to him sing this absolutely assinine song made me really focus for a few moments on what a wonderful, independent, unique, and beautiful child we are raising. I’m not sure if it was because I absolutely hate the song, but know he can feel free to love whatever crappy music he wants or that he felt so comfortable in his home that he could lay in bed, happy as a little clam singing at the top of his lungs (which is exactly as he should feel, but I never got to feel that way as a child). I wanted to instantly fly into his room and wrap my arms around him and just…love him. But I knew that doing that would ruin his moment. Ruin this little memory that he is building of today. And I wanted him to be able to remember that without his dorky mom making it “meaningful” and what not.

A new favorite quote:

If I can’t dance, it’s not my revolution!

So if you are not paying attention, look up. It’s been nearly 20 days since I quit smoking. ME! I quit smoking! I am a non-smoker. Pretty fan-f’in-tastic! I’m incredibly impressed with myself.

AND I am back in school, plugging along with a 3.9 GPA.

AND I have a part-time job! Every other weekend, Saturday and Sunday from 7:00 to 3:30 at the Humane Society. Goddess give me the strength to not bring them all home!

Must get to sleep though, since I have to work in the morning! Love to all.

I’m off to the gym shortly for my daily workout, but wanted to get on GeekFamily and get things updated. Realized this morning, a full two weeks after holidays, that I still had the Christmas theme up. So now we’ve changed to just winter. I started back onto the Weight Watchers plan about two weeks ago. I’ve already lost 7 pounds. It always amazes me how well WW works. You can follow my progress HERE.

I also finally got started back to school. I’m taking online classes again, since they seem to work best with my schedule, but its all leading in the same direction.

Hello, my name is Amelia and I am a television addict.

I hate to admit it. I truly do. I want to be one of those women who never turns her tv on, who sits and knits quietly listening to the radio and drinking a lovely glass of wine. I want to be someone who can regale you with stories of dragging my television out into the yard and smashing it with a sledge hammer. But alas I can’t. There was a point in time, when Ash was a toddler and I was intensely busy all the time, back before I met my wonderful husband. Hell when Jer and I met, the television I owned had wood paneling and a rotary channel knob! The only time that Ash and I turned it on was to watch American Idol and an occasional DVD. But times have changed. And now….now I watch television all day. I still get things accomplished. I just do them with the drone of the tv in the background.

The point of that little ramble is that I feel it absolutely necessary to comment on my two latest television obsessions….Anthony Bourdain and the Sci Fi mini-series Tin Man.

Ah the new love of my life. Monday nights at 9pm central on the Travel Channel….Anthony Bourdain, “No Reservations”. First of all….the man is snarky, down right bitchy at times. Actually….he’s just blunt. There are no catch phrases, no “bam” or E.V.O.O. Don’t get me wrong…I love other tv foodies….but Mr. Bourdain….he gets it right. On top of being drop dead sexy, he is one of the few travel channel hosts that I don’t get embarrassed for. When he is immersed in a new culture, he lets his hosts lead. He doesn’t act like a stupid know-it-all American. If you haven’t given yourself the opportunity to watch his show…I highly, HIGHLY recommend it.

Ok so enough of my total drooling. Though my other topic is definitely drool inducing for very different reasons.

The Sci-Fi mini-series Tin Man. I watched it twice last night. The first time it was….ok. A little melodramatic. A few too many cheesy references to the original movie. But the second time through I got to focus on my favorite parts of any movie…..Costuming and Set Design! Wow wow wow. Kathleen Robinson’s costumes as Azkadellia…wow. Yum! Angus Strathie, who happens to be my favorite costume designer, is responsible for the design. He did the costumes for Molin Rouge and Queen of The Damned. The second episode airs tonight on Sci Fi.

I’ve been doing well with the meditation course. There hasn’t been alot of written assignments, so I haven’t really found a reason to write here about it. But everything is going smoothly. I’ve been meditating every day for a minimum of 20 minutes. I’m primarily using guided meditations, but on some days I’m finding clarity enough to just “be” without external guidance.

My mind tends to run on high gear all of the time. There are generally a minimum of 3 thoughts happening in my mind at all times, so the idea of sitting silently with an empty mind every day is such an escape for me.

There seems to be a common thread in my interactions with people lately that time is moving quickly. Everyone wants to grab life by the haunches and ride the hell out of it or to pretend that their lives will end tomorrow.

The idea in general scares the hell out of me. Maybe it’s just semantics. I tend to get caught up in semantics. Words are powerful and the words you choose often create your reality. But to tell myself that I’m going to die tomorrow, to me, means that I will be giving up any sort of commitment, be that a romantic commitment or an intellectual commitment. I don’t want to live my life as though I’m going to die tomorrow. I don’t want to live my life as a roller coaster ride of daily excitement that ends when the sun goes down. Or as a bull that will throw me off like a cowgirl at the end of her 8 seconds. I like things that make me happy each morning that I wake up. I enjoy being consumed by something for days on end. I like knowing the plan is to hold onto those things that bring me joy for as long as possible.

On the other side of the dice, growing up for me was never pleasant. I spent the majority of my life until recently waiting for….something other than the moment I was in. And so, I wanted to live in my dreams, in my plans. “five years from now”…”the rest of my life”.

So, I’ve been trying to find a way to blend those two….the “stuck in the future” life and the “there is no future” life. I want to find a way to enjoy life just as it is right now *and* hold on to that enjoyment for awhile. So, I finally have a new goal in my life, a new plan, a new raison d’etre.

Some day, according to my not-so-scientific mind, the earth *will* fall out of its orbit and crash into the sun. According to real science, if that were to happen, it would take 91 days, 7 hours, 26 minutes, and 24 seconds.

From now on I will be living my life as though the earth is going to fall out of orbit right……NOW. …. And now… and now….

What will you be doing for the next 91 days, 7 hours, 26 minutes, and 24 seconds?

The holidays are officially upon us. I started my annual baking spree today. Something about winter makes me want to smell baked goods in the house and there just aren’t any candles out there that truly smell like cookies or pie. That and it makes me feel like a good little housewife. LOL I’m always inspired to find an apron and a string of pearls when I’m baking. Today….Peanut Butter Cookies!

Amelia’s peanut butter cookie recipe

1/2 cup shortening (I like Crisco butter flavored)
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt

Preheat over to 350 degrees. Grease cookie sheets.

In a medium bowl, cream together the shortening, sugar, and peanut butter. Beat in the eggs and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt in a seperate bowl and stir slowly into the creamed mixture until well blended. Roll the dough into walnut sized balls. Place the cookies 2 inches apart onto the cookie sheet. Press balls down using a fork. Sprinkle each cookie liberally with sugar.

Bake 10 to 12 minutes. Allow cookies to cool for five minutes on sheet before moving to a wire rack to cool completely before storage.

I have been absolutely all over the place. The holidays are coming. The house is finally getting back up to order, which leaves me some free time. I want to begin writing again. I think that I finally have an idea for a book. But my brain is utter chaos. I need to find my focus again.

I have decided to start this 21 day meditation program to try to get into the habit again. I want to find that connection with the quiet part of my “self” again. Touch base with the peace at the core of it all.

Which also means I’m going to start another little category of posts here, titled “Going Om”. I’ll be writing about any assignments that come along with the course and my progress throughout. Hopefully by the end, I’ll feel up to going to theZen Center for weekly meditation.

Day 1 assignment: Write a Statement of Intention and a Statement of Commitment.

Statement of Intention: To reconnect with the mindful part of my “self” and find a quiet peace in each day.

Statement of Commitment: 1) I meditate 1-3 times a week for about 15 minutes each time, 2) I would like to meditate 4-5 times a week for 20 minutes, and 3) I will use the mini-course emails as a reminder each day to spend a few minutes focusing on meditation and exploring new ways to fit it into my life.